Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Malvern Mint Relief Program

Once again, a letter to my little people who are far away for summer:

Dear Children:

I hope this finds you bright eyed and bushy tailed today. And speaking of bushy tails, I have the latest news from Malvern Gardens. Since Chester started visiting with Portia, and hence sharing mint leaves with her, word has spread rapidly through the Malvern Rabbit Association of our mint plot in the garden. Mint has been such a rare commodity this year that even the ladies of the neighborhood commented on the difficulty of procuring it from our local grocers, so you can imagine the excitement that occurred when the rabbits learned we grew quite a bit.

At first, there was just one rabbit outside in the front yard at midnight. I did not think much about it, because we always have rabbits, but he was wearing a bit of a wistful expression. He seemed to pine for something. Seeing how late it was, I shut the curtains and decided to ignore his presence, but the next night he brought a friend. They stared at the house, whispered to each other, and seemed to be trying to work up the courage to approach. On the night that there were three rabbits skittering about the front yard, I descended the stairs in my nightie, opened the door, and informed them politely to go home before they woke Chester. One rabbit bravely piped up and asked if it was indeed true that we held the largest and most thriving mint garden in Malvern. I said yes, but that at midnight, I was not willing to discuss it further.

Well, you know what happened—maybe Chester called you to tell it himself. On the fourth night, there were four rabbits, six chipmunks, a toothfairy, five bees, three beavers (yes, we have those), a fawn, and an entire family of raccoons. It was so loud out there, I called the president of the MRA and said something must be done about this.

The MRA president organized a meeting with the neighborhood critters. Yesterday, we all gathered in the alley by the back fence and explained that while we would be willing to share, we cannot have a neighborhood disturbance, and that really, the problem lay in creating a further shortage. Why not, I suggested, disperse whole mint stalks with roots to the heads of families so that they can grow their own? Mint does reproduce rapidly, but were we to feed everyone there, our supply would have been decimated to the point of pulling the last mint plant and thus having none for next year. So next week, one critter per family will come and receive a stalk or two with planting instructions. We might have to do this every couple of weeks while our own supply replenishes in order to continue the effort.

Chester thought it was brilliant and absolutely unselfish. His own efforts to coordinate this massive mint relief have earned him a special place among the MRA members. Portia thinks him as dear as ever and rumors have started that the two may wed next spring (a couple should always court four full seasons before marriage).

Love to you both. Care for each other. See you soon.


1 comment:

  1. You simply must publish and illustrate a children's book... or two... or three...


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