Monday, May 9, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

Last week, my son made me an adorable card for Mother's Day. The outside was decorated with his drawings and the inside was a questionnaire that his teacher had helped him complete. Apparently I am 16 years old, weigh 40 pounds, hate school, and smell like muffins. I told his teacher about my daughter's similarly-formed Father's Day card that she had made when she was four.

"What does your father like to do?"  the teacher had asked.
"He loves to clean the toilet!" she had announced proudly. Apparently, she had overheard his sarcastic remark about cleaning on a chore day at home and internalized it as literal truth. And the card went home reading that her dad was the best dad, that he was two inches tall, and that he loved to clean the toilet. I still have this card, by the way.

Tiny's teacher said she could hardly recover from laughter as she filled out the cards with the children last week. In fact, the best one came from a little boy who is often in worse trouble than my son. Yes, be careful what you say in front of children.

"What does your mother hate?"
"She hates my step-father," answered the child. (Oh, boy.)

"What does your mother need to do?" asked the teacher.
"My mother needs to get a job, my father says!" stated the child.

Fortunately, the teacher had the good sense to encourage the boy to invent new answers for the card. Oh, the things they say.

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