Friday, June 18, 2010

Random Notes

I am so sorry I cannot post daily (or near daily). My youngest child is home from school for the summer and I've put his time before mine. Until I can really sit down and formulate a new chunk of creativity, here are a collection of thoughts that have been plaguing me this week:

Skinny jeans are a bad idea, unless as one blog poster wrote, you have the hips of a twelve year old boy. Not even that is a safe guarantee of chic, however. Too skinny, and the jeans make a woman look bow-legged, and then I want to break out in that song I heard as a child on MASH (thank you, Colonel Potter): I like to go swimmin' with bowlegged women and swim between their legs... swim between their legs....

I just read that a child's fascination with his genitals ends at age six. I thought about this as I watched my son dance around the yard peeing here, peeing there. Whoever wrote that particular theory of development obviously had never been on a date with a man. The fascination with a man's own weiner really doesn't ever stop.

Children who rise at dawn and march immediately into a parent's bedroom with demands need to be duct taped to their own beds. No, I will not tie that, fix that, cook that, or jump at your fingersnaps until I have had coffee and my eyes are open. Children who spend an hour trying to fall asleep at night (and keep the rest of the house awake in the process) should also be duct taped to their beds.

Lastly, among the things in life I really liked and miss: a true masterbathroom, a nice custom closet in my bedroom (not down the hall), my close friends (because now I live far), and snowball stands. Among the things I gave up and have never missed: my ex-husband, a bathroom scale, a three-level 4000 plus square foot home, and ski trips.

Happy Friday, folks!

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