Bullying... with Jesus

I am having a little trouble with something, and am trying to gently express this special request. I hope that what I say here might give some people pause for consideration of the wording of their messages on Facebook and blog comments throughout the Web.

Throughout the recent presidential campaign, while I found people to be publicly kind when expressing thoughts, the Web became a free for all and many posts were hard to take. Readers were told to wake up, that they were blind to truth, that they were allowing the media to delude them, and referred to as ignorant. Would you have said such a thing to your neighbor over dinner? Would you have told this to your mom or to your boss at work? 

A general assumption was made that people were not following the news, conducting research, or in any other manner carefully weighing the voter decision. And finally, of course, God was used as a weapon, as a way to represent the be-all and end-all. Does this not smack a bit of judgment? Are some of you aware of how it might feel to be preyed upon by Facebook friends or blog buddies in this manner? Certainly, I have enough faith in humanity to know that if those who do this were aware of their impact that they would have chosen a better way to frame their ideas. I can tell you this morning that one gentleman told me the attitude of certain people pushed him away from choosing their candidate. He was reluctant to be part of a group that didn’t seem welcome to the variety of reasons and ideas that should be considered in the decision-making process in general. He felt alienated. I understand. Right now, I feel bullied… by Jesus.

While some posts were blatantly callous, others were blindsiding. One Facebooker posted a lovely sentiment about looking within our hearts. When I expressed nicely that I was still on the fence and considering points of view, I was told that if I read my Bible, I would know what the answer is, and among other things said, I was fairly well accused of being one who was ill-informed or misdirected—for still working to come to a sound decision. In that same chain of post and responses, another person cited disapproval of a candidate’s religion. Do you remember that John F. Kennedy was our first and only Catholic president? His Catholicism was often used as a point of doubt by those who opposed his candidacy and election, yet today he is cited as one of our most popular and best presidents. 

The religious posts have taken the form of bullying. Many plead us to pray for the half of the country that “voted wrongfully.” Posts are constant, and the worst ones I remove from my newsfeed, but that doesn’t stop the feeling of sympathy for those being hounded by pages full of bitter Jesus-wielders. To those that keep crying defeat and fear for the future of our country, find solace in knowing that our history has often held our citizens to flames of doubt, and we have survived: stock market crashes, World Wars, the Great Depression, polio scares, and more. Each time, it was not fear that drove us to rise. We rose again because we fought to do so. The only difference between then and now is that it is easier to quickly expose the masses to every worldly event and our opinions about it. So put your pack on your back and march on, fair soldier. Have faith. Have hope.

I researched my voting decision carefully, not even telling my husband who I voted for until the election results were coming in. My goal was to be happy with the decision I made; to combine reason, rationality, and instinct; and to find the blessing in the ability to vote and watch an election come to a resolution. What I ultimately wanted was a message sent to whoever earned the title of president: Many in this country weren’t sure enough of your principles to endorse you. Please do your best to inspire us and resolve the crises close to our hearts. When I left the voting booth Tuesday, I was completely at peace with my decision.

To the people who write that those who voted for Obama should be prayed for—to have some kind of political conversion or eye-opening, they say—I am sorry to say your message is not being received as goodwill. It feels like you are passing out hair shirts. I offer this morsel of thought: Perhaps, God in all his infinite wisdom, desired a close election after all, and called individuals to vote a certain way for reasons beyond our understanding. Or perhaps, God in all his infinite power, doesn’t need an election by limited mortals on one patch of land in the globe to effect change. Do you think it might be, maybe, a kind of errant supposition on our part, that we are so great, so noble, so flawless, our spot at the right hand of God so given, that we should belittle, patronize, or  criticize others as we attempt to cling to virtue? Do you think, given the hand-to-hand battles of daily life, that an unconditionally loving God would punish you for your vote? 

Over recent years, the word “Christian” has morphed from not just “follower of Christ,” but to become more synonymous with “charitable.” What I wish is for those who do claim Christian as part of our heritage and faith, and continue to espouse it in our public posts, to exercise both meanings of the word, in hopes of inspiring those that remain to follow.

The Great Voter Debate

This is the only post I will likely write about politics. I feel about politics the way I do about sports--that is to say, I appreciate it but recognize that aspects of it will always be beyond my interest. The reason why has to do with the political "enthusiasts" or other purveyors of that information. Many are, like I have witnessed certain sports fans to be, rabidly unforgiving of anyone who does not share their team colors. I tend to collect newsy highlights and ask people what they think, then do some additional reading on the matter. When television commentators begin their rants, when editorials run obnoxiously... I get to a point and then shut it all out.

It's pretty ugly out there. And yes, I understand that one man or another in the White House can allow the cost of gas go up, change a policy that makes it harder for my daughter to receive a student loan, and so on. But I am not about to insult a neighbor while discussing the fact that maybe he voted for someone whose term enabled those changes to take place. Recently, I mentioned to two women that I was interested in other people's points of view and had not yet formed a concrete opinion. I asked them what they thought. The response: "Well, if you cared anything about your body, you would know who to vote for." Do you hear the implication? Meanwhile, circulating the web is a video by David Barton saying that God will hold me accountable if I vote for the man who allows for the abortion of unborn children. You know, I am not worrying about going to hell on this one because I am already there as a voter in crisis. It's the hell I go through every four years.

I hate debates and don't think the best candidate arises from that battlefield. It allows a candidate to behave like a spoiled child, one who condescends with snide remarks, interruptions, and talking over the other. The fast talker who twists statistics to his liking is the winner. Yes, flailing on opinion is not such a smart move during a political debate, but I know many great thinkers who simply take time to put words together. Sweating under the heat of stage lights, camera, and public opinion, how might you perform?

Advertising that comes in my mail or rolled up and parked in the railing to my porch is just as bad. One today read VOTER GUIDE and I mistakenly thought it contained an objective list of information about the two candidates for the U.S. Senate. Instead, it was an endorsement for one candidate. I gave it to my son to make a paper airplane out of it. My local councilman, who is running for re-election, was recently criticized in another flyer that stated he used city money to pave the alley that happened to be behind his house. I asked myself, if this was the worst thing that could be said about him, wasn't that almost an endorsement?

I wish candidates weren't allowed to support criticisms of their running mates and could only post their own successes and visions. I wish they were kind in regard to one another. A local gentleman running for representation with the school board shook my hand and then said something very nice about his opposing candidate, who shares similar experiences and credibility. I was touched by that, and he ultimately earned my vote with that gesture. He was who I thought would best represent my school needs to the public and school board. I won't wince when he rises to speak.

While I can't guarantee the outcome of the election, I can promise this... a chain of feedback here. I will get at least one or two posts or emails that invariably tell me why I should vote for one person over another. This will prove my point entirely. :)

Good luck voting. I wish you confidence and comfort in your choice. And I will hope for a brilliant future for us all. At worst case, folks, it's just another four years, and we get to do this again.

The Only Time You'll See Politics Here

Young people will reiterate overheard opinions or stories, tack new meaning onto them, and state them as though entirely self-conceived. My daughter recently made a certain statement that I found a bit embarrassing. I don’t know where she heard it, but it at least entered private conversation at our own dinner table, where we could discuss her words and the impression they may give. Her opinion was terribly slanted and I am afraid that if she says it in public, she will have misrepresented the true feelings and spirit of this family.


“We really should stop selling stuff to China. We shouldn’t be paying them all this money,” she mused, “and let them solve their own problems or whatever.”

(Yes, I am sure you were expecting something a little different.)

My husband smiled and spoke gently. He said that what she appears to have learned about the relationship between the US and China is a bit limited. He explained about trade, about China having loaned money to the US, and touched on countries having to work with each other. He addressed her immediate statement and raised possible questions that will help her understand there is always more to a story, and that an opinion, such as what she likely overheard from another parent or teacher at school, is not necessarily a fact. He did a very nice job.

This week, my daughter hit us with another one:

“I’ve been studying Mesopotamia at school. Did you know we now call Mesopotamia Iraq? I hate Iraq. All they do is kill each other. The whole culture there is bad.”

Mercy! I took a breath.

“Sweetheart, it’s so much more complicated than that,” I began. I told her I have taught children whose families had emigrated from Iraq to the US. I explained that what she is seeing on the news about war there is indeed unfortunate and horrible, but just one slice of what is an ancient and incredibly fascinating culture. My husband said that to make a grand slam statement about an entire culture is not okay, and that she needs to learn more about it. Mothers, fathers, and children live there--just like us, I reminded her.

After that I gave her the usual reminders about the other things we teach our children: sit up, elbows off the table, and close your mouth when you chew. Conversation turned to other things, such as school and weekend plans. Visions of Breyer horses and doll dress designs resumed in her head. I am glad, however, my little girl is aware that these political issues are part of the world we live in, and maybe one day she will develop incredible diplomatic skills as a result of having to research an issue and form an educated opinion.  I do look forward to seeing what she will discuss next, and I hope that she still feels she can air her thoughts at the table. Trying not to quash that while coaching her toward a broader view requires diplomacy on our behalf as well.