We still haven't caught the mouse at work. The head of maintenance came to see if he could help. I showed him the empty trap and stated my surprise that the mouse hadn't been lured by the peanut butter cracker I had put inside.
"You need to get him with a picture of a girl mouse," he said. "You know, one like this." He struck a pose and then continued, "All flirty and pink with a skirt and bow." I had a vision of my team getting down on hands and knees to tape cheesecake-style mouse pictures on baseboards with arrows pointing to the mousetrap. Laughingly, I ran his idea by my co-workers and then gave him feedback later.
We couldn't undertake his plan--it was making a lot of suppositions, I explained. "First you are assuming that the mouse is an active heterosexual male. Or you would have to suppose the mouse is a homosexual female. But the mouse could be a juvenile, and not into finding a mate yet, or he could be a senior, and just not give a hoot."
"You're right. You're right," he said. "It would be a total HR violation."
Who knew trapping mice at the office could be so complicated?