Sucking It Up and Wearing the Big Girl Pants: No MATX PhD

This week, I contacted VCU and learned that I was not accepted into the program for which I had applied. The official letter has yet to arrive, but I received a very compassionate and brief email from the head of admissions for the MATX PhD.

So far, the professional academics in my life are greatly surprised. I wish I could say I was, having grown fairly accustomed to rejection in general. Writing an associate yesterday, I said that while I was surely disappointed, I was at least relieved that other choices could open themselves. With family being so far, being locked into our current location another two to three years may not be in our best interest. Only time will tell. Luckily, everyone has been very kind about my rejection. A freshly delivered arrangement of flowers, sent by my parents, perches on a bookshelf by the window.  The blooms have already started to open. Perhaps, this is a sign of hope.

Yesterday, I decided not to take this setback too personally, and I wrote the gentleman at VCU to let me know what I could do to improve my chances of acceptance should I apply again. What I wondered was this: how can I continue to grow? In the meantime, I try not to grapple too much with the feeling of rejection--something everyone experiences and ultimately overcomes. Maybe I have finally learned to cope better with it.

What I separate from rejection is the alternative choices I am meant to walk. I wish I knew what that was exactly. I created a plan B for myself when I applied to school—renewing a teaching license for neighboring states, for example. I also wish to take additional coursework in graphic design, computer animation, and certain copywriting software, et cetera. We’ll see what happens.

Until I am sure of what to do and where to go, I’ll keep editing test prep material for this little firm, I’ll still enjoy some creative writing on the side, and I will continue to enjoy my children and their schools, as I did today. And yes, I’ll try hard not to sulk too much about not getting my way on this one.